Beyond the Grasp of Control

So there you are, feeling pleased about the choices you've made to get everything right where you want them. It's just then that you realize things aren't quite the way that you think they are. Left and right things are crumbling and that feeling of order and control are not even real anymore. You pinch yourself to make sure that the new, realized state of reality, is in fact not a hallucination but merely reality displaying itself in a sick and perverse way. You try and clarify all that has happened and decide........it's more intense than you originally thought.